Shotsie is now sunning himself in Cancun

Yesterday, I ran into Ellie Stingablatz and from the looks of her you would have thought I meant literally. She had her arm in a sling, a bandage on her forehead and she was barely able to walk even with crutches. She was all bent over and moaning “Lord save me.” Of course I asked her what happened. She said a friend accidentally left a window open in her house and her pet parakeet flew out and into the large oak tree in the yard next door. Ellie attempted to get the bird out of the tree by climbing on a ladder with a butterfly net, some pieces of cooked rutabaga, sunflower seeds, and a saltine in her left hand. She swung her leg over a branch but lost her balance, tossed the treats at the parakeet, fell off the ladder and got badly banged up on her way back to the launching area. The doctor says the cast will come off in a few weeks and with plenty of rest and some Oxycontin for a day or so she should be fine. 

The parakeet, named Shotsie, flew south so fast he broke the sound barrier and by now he’s sunning himself in Cancun. 

Why would an eighty-year-old lady engage in such risky behavior?   

Signed, Katy on Kirk Alle 

Dear Katy,

People say that with age comes wisdom but that’s not always the case. I’ve never attempted to coax a parakeet out of a tree but for sure I would never think of using cooked rutabaga as a lure. Poor Shotsie must have thought Ellie was engaging in chemical warfare. At least she wasn’t loaded with lutefisk. 

Shotsie’s owner should have called the University Extension for help. She could also gone online for advice. 

Wish Ellie a speedy recovery and here’s hoping her friend can find love again preferably with a gerbil. Good luck and remember, Tante Ingeborg cares, but not so much.